A New Day

This is a first for me. I have never written a blog before. Lately, I have felt like I have too many emotions and thoughts going on. I decided that maybe it would be best to write them down. The only problem with that is that I don't feel like anyone is listening. So, here goes to some new. Today is a new day. To tell you a little about myself, I will start with this. The greatest stress in my life is my hair. I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous right? Well, it goes a little beyond a bad hair day. When I was in 9th grade I would sit in class and play with the hair on my arms. I was bored, what else was there to do? Who knew it would turn into some crazy obsession. It has been about eight years since I started pulling the hair on my arms out. It has done nothing but progress. By the time I was a senior in high school, I had pulled just about all the hair from my own head! This included my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes as well. As everyone knows, high school is hard enough without any major incidents. I tried not to feel sorry for myself, seeing how I put myself in that situation on my own. I handled it well, I thought. I tried everything I could think of to make myself stop it. I looked ridiculous. I was made fun of, constantly given dirty looks and more. It doesn't really matter what caused it and how I handled it then. It's all about how I handle it now. I continually think to myself, what can I do with this experience, what have I learned and how can I use this to help other people. I managed to find an amazing man who knew all about it and chose to marry me. I was lucky, many people are not so accepting today. Many people do not know what it truly means to love someone so much that they can look past someone's physical appearance know what is living inside their heart. Yes, I am still struggling with this condition today. This started when I was 15. Today, I am 23 years old. I am married and I have an amazing child. My quest for overcoming this has not been vanquished. I know that one day I will have beaten this thing I have created and that gives me hope for the future. With every breath taken,we can change if we want to. There is nothing in this world that can cement in one spot, except you. You are the only one standing in your own way. I have never met anyone else who has suffered from this "disease", commonly called Trichotillomania. It seems like a silly thing to call a disease, or disorder when there are so many other, life threatening illnesses in the world today but this is a form of OCD and if you have ever lived with someone sufferring from any type of OCD, then the realization of that constant stress and possible dissatisfaction of yourself isn't so hard to come by. I have never opened up like this before and I sincerly hope that it hasn't fallen on deaf ears. Thank you for your support and understanding. I hope that you can join me in my journey to recovery in 2012.